Anytime there is a situation that leads to a couple splitting up and there are children involved, the decision of custody will have to be made. Sometimes the separation or divorce is very amicable and the details are easily worked out; other times, things are not so easy to work through and a third party needs to help iron out the details.

Hiring A Lawyer

If you cannot agree with your spouse or partner about where the kids should live or how often they should see each of the parents, it might be time to hire a lawyer and get some help. The lawyer will be able to work through all the details with you and then take the case in front of the judge. Ideally, all the details should be worked out before the case gets to court so the judge can look at and approve the agreements.

Working Out The Custody

If you have a lawyer and your spouse has a lawyer, the four of you will need to sit down and work through all the details. Try to work together for the good of the children, and remember that whatever decision you make affects them as much as it does you. If the kids are going back and forth between the two parents' homes too often, it can be taxing for them. All of the details have to be thought out and the parents need to express their desire for time with the kids and be willing to compromise with the other. Don't let the lawyers cause tension in the process, but take into account the legal information they are offering. 

Talking To The Kids

It is important that you talk to your kids about what is happening, and while they may not be ready to understand the adult reasons that you are splitting up, they need to know that it is not because of them. If you can work out the visitation and custody together, and you can even get the kids in on it, it will be better for all involved. If the kids are old enough to understand and decide what holidays they want where or how they would like to structure the two-household dynamic, let them be involved in it. They will be much happier if they feel like they have a say in where they will spend their time.

Go To Court United

When you do go to court, the judge is going to ask if everyone is happy with the arrangements and if you can tell him that you worked it out together, he will be much less likely to make changes. Remember: you started the family together, so do your best to raise them together even when you are not in the same home.

For more information about child custody, contact companies like Ritter & LeClere APC Attorneys At Law.